Mitchell: How to help your child through a major hockey event

Welcome to MiHockey’s new blog, written by Suburban Hockey Schools managing director Jeff Mitchell. A Wayne, Mich., native, Mitchell was a third-round draft pick of the Los Angeles Kings in the 1993 NHL Draft. A Detroit Junior Red Wings and Michigan K-Wings alum, Mitchell played professional hockey for nine seasons before returning to his home state.

By Jeff Mitchell –

This summer, I took my son, Travis, to the boys’ USA Hockey Select 17 Camp.

As a parent, it’s a nerve-wracking experience, whether you experienced the same types of events as a child or not.

From my experiences during my own hockey career, I knew that a hands-off approach would be a good way to handle the situation with my son.

While he was skating in Amherst, N.Y., the rest of the family was having a vacation – as a hockey family, we take advantage of opportunities like that whenever we can.

Major hockey events fill up every player’s schedule. Whether it’s a tryout, a prestigious camp or any other unique experience on the ice, your player will need your support – but not necessarily by you holding his or her hand through the entire process.

It’s important for parents to set realistic goals for major hockey events – both for the participant and for your own expectations.

Take the event for what it’s worth. At younger age groups, a camp like a USA Hockey Select Camp offers kids the opportunity to hear from new coaches and make new friends. As you progress through the amateur ranks, the opportunities to gain exposure with scouts and colleges and junior teams take precedence.

But the parents need to realize that they are only parents – not critics or coaches.

Car-coaching tends to put unnecessary pressure on kids even when it’s a random game in the middle of December, let alone a major in-season or off-season event.

During Travis’ time at the Select 17 Camp, the Mitchell family was there as a support system only. We went on vacation so that he could do his thing at the rink by himself.

The only thing I would even recommend to parents in terms of coaching in a situation like this would be to tell them to have their child communicate with their coaches – that’s an important step in their development both as an athlete and as a person.

You – the parent – are not supposed to be communicating with the coaches.

Today’s hockey parents, well at least some of them, tend to make events more of a social gathering for themselves, and they lose focus on what’s important – the overall enjoyment and betterment for their child.

As parents, you need to remember that you are just as big a part of the process as your child in terms of the way you act, how respectful you are, etc. You don’t want to be a ‘helicopter parent’ – for your kid’s benefit both on and off the ice.

The selection process is going to happen no matter what. Some kids will hear from scouts, some won’t. Some kids will be invited to more prestigious events, some won’t.

But as one of my own coaches once told me, “worry about the things you can control, not the things you can’t.”

Everything happens for a reason. Take the good with the bad. Regardless of what happens, use the event as a stepping stone to teach your growing hockey player life lessons and support them through the process.

Just don’t get in the way. Or be a helicopter parent. Or blow things out proportion.

Nobody likes that parent.