Imagining an XHL hockey league

By @MichaelCaples and @StefanKubus –

Today, Vince McMahon asked us what we would like to see if we were to re-imagine professional football, because he’s bringing back his…historic…XFL football league.

Here you go, Mr. McMahon – here are our suggestions. It starts with switching sports though. Let’s create a XHL hockey league instead!

Oh, the possibilities. Here are some of our ideas.

Multipuck Mode – Each team has a ‘multipuck mode’ option where two more pucks are added to the ice. In need of a goal at the end of the game? Good luck to a goalie stopping three shots at once.

Names – Unfortunately, this would look a lot like Globo Gym’s Dodgeball line-up. We’ve got Laser, Blaser, Razor, Taser – all the usual suspects. You can also just add “eh?” to the end of the XFL names to make them applicable.

“He Hate Me, Eh?” | “The Truth, Eh?”

Flip The Twig Around – For certain infractions, the penalized team has to flip their sticks around and try to play the puck with the butt end for an extended period of time.

Moving Star Projection – Like a hot spot on the ice, a star is projected on the ice and goals scored from that area would be worth two on the scoreboard. The star moves throughout the game, of course. Would make for great photos, too.

Nets Turned Around – Stolen from some of the drills we’ve all done, turn the nets around…in a reckless high speed pro game, who knows what would come with that. Bank shots, more hits – the sky’s the limit.

Using The Blue Pucks – Let the teams fire away with the 8U blue pucks instead of the regular ones. That’d increase scoring, for sure.

Fight Stipulations – Loser of the fight gets a penalty, or winner gets a penalty shot.

No Line Changes on the Fly – You have to get a whistle to change, and you can’t ice the puck or clear it over the boards.

Quick Zam Cuts – Zambonis just do the middle of the ice, limiting intermission to about three minutes. Going into the corners just became way more adventurous.

Half-ice games – Let’s make use of those half-ice boards and have them play some games.

Trades allowed in-game – Let the teams make a trade right then and there.

Refs have to stand in the middle of the ice – Officials are not allowed outside the dots. Keep your heads up, boys.

Big nets, more goalies – Nets increased to the size of soccer nets, but you get two goalies, because everybody loves goalies.

Also, no size restrictions for the pads. If you don’t want to move, you don’t have to.

Hot spots on the ice – Score from the circled areas, you get two goals. The spots are projections, so they change spots throughout the game.

Only skate backwards in OT/shootout – No explanation necessary.

No passing, no dump-ins in neutral zone – You have to carry the puck, no matter the cost.

Penalty shot gauntlet – If you can get through the gauntlet of checks – any youth hockey player knows this drill – you can then take a shot on the goalie.

No netting/all glass – The rink’s domed in, so puck always stays in play. Also creates unique banging-on-the-glass/laying-on-the-glass opportunities for fans. $$$

No face-offs, just puck races – Two players start on face-off dots, puck’s waiting for them at center ice.

MiHockey Staff

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